Truth & Lies – Freedom vs. Fear

We live in a world of duality, where one side is at constant odds with the other.  We are forever in a battle of fighting off some kind of evil while striving for a victory.  This is the dynamic set up on this earthly plane. 

We succumb to its torment through many forms; be it media, food consumption, thought forms or just simply through the things we see or give our attention to.  All of these things come at us at an alarming rate; some too fast to detect.  We are inundated.

We are taught honesty is the best policy, The truth shall set us free.  But we are also taught that the Truth hurts.  But truthfully, what hurts more The Truth, or a Lie?  Pain is growth, unless it is consistently being met with adversity.  We make up our minds to be victims or to become victors.  Decide to walk in Victory.

Truth is freedom.  Truth reveals, while lies hide. Lies are told because we Fear being caught, found out.  We fear vulnerability and being revealed.  What is this fear about?

When I was a teenager, I remember living a double life.  The one my parents wanted for me, and the one I really lived.  My secret life was wrought with emotions, a flow of feeling unchartered by the structure of school or the rules my divorced parents tried to implement upon me.  My main focus was to be accepted by my peers, liked and included into the large group of what I deemed was Love; the moving tantalizing energetic soup of interaction.

But, as time went on, it was to be revealed to me that indeed this large group of ‘Love’, that I so wanted acceptance by, was actually full of other seekers, lost in their plight of finding some kind of public recognition; to feel as they belonged in society, a society really, that was not ready for their flavor ice-cream.

We were Indigos.  We came to change the world, not fit in it.  So all this seeking was really more about groundbreaking.  And in that nasty transition, we lied and lived double lives, because it was a survival tactic.  The only way we knew how to maintain and keep our inner life alive, was to live the lie in one form, showing we were obedient to a point, but then our honest life had to be hidden.

Today, it’s different.  We have grown up.  The lies we told back then, are passé.  The new lies are blatant.  We are living the truth, while the world around us is still stuck in the lies of the past.  The groundbreaking has begun, but there is still a ton of work for us to do.

When children tell lies, they are afraid of admitting that they have feelings which make them act ‘badly’.  Inside, they are afraid and it comes out in anger.  This expressed anger is societally unacceptable.  Society in fear believes that it must be admonished, so as to make a peaceful society. We all do want peace, on a deep inner level, but what of the issue of bullying.  Some call it a cry for help.  Some say, it is a virus running rampant in our youth.  In my youth, there was a punk rock.  Punk was a direct action stemming from a need to thrash; a need to rebel.  There is something innate about ‘getting it out’.  We need to teach the children from a young age, the idea of mindfulness and peace so they can have tools early enough to detect and protect themselves from energies which are around them.  So many kids, from a very young age are succumbed to ECT [early childhood trauma] that they get hardwired for aggression and this just comes out at a societal level at some point because the root issue is never addressed.  The kids get medicated and ignored, or worse, institutionalized.

The overwhelm on the parts of the parents is enormous.  They are expected to maintain the cash flow of income to support the family unit, while the children’s deep feelings get dealt with by school officials.  The family is torn apart and the children suffer.  They act out, in lies and sometimes sadly, violence.  This layers through the grades and unless the onion is peeled as it grows, the layers seat deeper and deeper covered up by adulthood.

In a world where most are seeking truth and freedom because this is the goal of a healthy soul, so many are still suffering under the dark cloud of ignorance, deceit and lies and are thusly trapped in a world of chains where it seems they can never get free.  So many grown up children have given up because they feel it is futile to even try anymore.  They have been beaten down on all levels, literally  had the freedom beaten out of them; be it by their parents, their society or simply their bosses on the job; fearful of losing the income which sustains them and their families. 

The ones who suffer most are the young children, because they feel and do not verbalize as well or as much as the adults or even the teens.  They really are little sponges who pick up the flow of energy all around them.  If the parents are consistently in fear, the child will be insecure; having nightmares and actually their tiny systems will innately push forward to grow up faster so they can be of more help; tiny adults not wired for the stressors they take on.  They will miss out on a childhood of real play, discovery and magic, because they have been pushed too soon into an adult world of do, be and perform.

Freedom comes from taking our power back, as parents and as individuals.  We need to protect our children from this machine of duality.  We need to foster in them the Truth.  The Truth means Love, Peace and Freedom.  The Truth is not as expensive as the Lie.  The Lie of ignorance, slavery, and fear is the root of the evil that belies the illusion accepted by the society that there is in fact a dualistic reality.

In Truth, there is no duality.  There is only Love, Peace and Freedom.  What we focus on manifests.    If children are led to believe that they need to lie to be ok, then there is a problem with the program.  What has to happen, and it is imperative it does, is that our children feel free enough and confident enough to allow failure, express surrender, feel humility and succumb to defeat. It needs to touch them on a deep soul level, so that they learn that it is simply the other side of the emotional spectrum and that by rooting and aligning their hearts with Love, Peace and Freedom, there really are no defeats, failures, surrenders, because only in a world of duality does this indeed exist.  In surrendering to these lower vibrations, it actually builds them up because this is where true strength lies, in getting back up when you fall; over and over and over again.  Whatever it takes!

In a positive family and societal environment, when one wins, everyone wins.  The need for competition on a soul level becomes good for the whole.  The word ‘represents’ comes into play and life can indeed become a win-win across the board.

To Lie is to Fear.  To tell the Truth is Freedom.  It feels harder to tell the truth because it builds your soul more, inside.  To forge ahead against adversity builds spiritual muscle.  But I am not speaking about bulk, I am speaking about honesty and the integrity that comes with being honest with oneself and with others. To lay the lies down and be honest is good.  To carry the burden of a lie is harder work.  Wouldn’t you much rather be free, light enough to fly?

I would.  I am living my life in truth now; forever finding more out about it.  It feels good to live in Truth.  Lies are too much work.  Lies make us feel like we are not living an authentic life.  Fear rules the Liar.  Fear of being exposed; but if he/she would allow the light of Truth to shine upon him/her, then surely he/she would be freed.  Surely he/she would become the winged one.  You can and you are if you believe it…

Blessings be,

Namaste

~*~

To Thine Self Be True

“Be yourself”

We hear these sayings but what do they really mean?  These are from the mind: ideas. How do we apply these mental thoughts to our spiritual lives?  How do we feel these things on an emotional level so that they integrate and are put into action?

If we are living in western society, we are inundated with images of how we are told we should be, behave, look, perform and exist in today’s world.  Many people have become carbon copies of the advertising images, clutching onto the next fad or trend to give them identity.

Some people cling to well-known religions or rebel in some kind of alternative religion so as to be different and explore the outer realms of the mainstream.  Whatever we choose, it is still a choice to belong to some kind of realm of social acceptance, even if it is not in the mainstream.  Groups form for acceptance of the furthest reaches of style and belief.  

The idea that we are alone is a myth.  We are always surrounded by energy and this energy can take the form of matter or not.  It is said that ‘Thoughts are Things’.

These ideas of being oneself and To Thine Self Be True are merely ideas which separate us from the Unity Consciousness and make us feel like we are different so we feel more egoically important. 

I believe that the essence of these phrases really lie in the surrendering of our egos to these ideas.  In surrendering to these separatist ideas, we actually become one with the flow and thusly become our true selves because we are being authentic to the flow.  

Each one of us has been given a divine blueprint, an essential energy coded specifically for our DNA or energy frequency.  When we get out of the mind and into our hearts, we can truly surrender to this DNA code frequency by surrendering fully.  It happens with the breath.  By breathing whole breaths, we can essentially ground into the flow and become the one we have been seeking.  We can see, hear, and feel the essence of the flow through our breath.  The breath is the bridge to Spirit and it connects us to the Divinity from which we came.

In this FLOW and only in this FLOW can you truly be YOURSELF, because there is no-one like you anywhere ever before or ever will be again.

Bless you... The Divine Channel that is YOU...

~*~

POWERLESS

Suddenly, the lights went out.  We were scared.  I didn’t know what had happened.  My daughter, being six years old, was afraid of the dark.  The lights didn’t come back on like they do sometimes when they go out.  We waited and we waited, but nothing happened.  

My eyes got accustomed to the dark.  Everything was still and quiet.  My daughter was scared. I went to find candles. I got the lighter and I lit some candles.  I remembered the flashlight and my daughter ran to the door where we kept it because she remembered too. She almost knocked me over.

I went to find more candles and lit those.  She was scared and I was too.  I found the PG&E bill and called them.  I got an automated phone tree on my cell and pushed all the right buttons;  1 then 2 then 1 then 2 then 2 then 2. 

Finally, I had completed reporting the outage and they said that I was the first to report an outage in the area.  They kept asking on the automated line if there was a downed power line.  I went outside and looked at the neighbors houses.  Everyone else’s lights we ON!  Even the duplex neighbor!  I went in the garage and checked the breakers and nothing was off.  I looked at the wires coming from the power poles.  Nothing was down.

I waited on the phone and pushed the buttons which got me a real live person.  They said a technician was on the way and it had been reported.  I said I had a scared child and asked how long it would be.  The kind man in Sacramento said he didn’t know but hopefully soon.  He felt our fear.

While all this was happening… something else was happening, spiritually.

When the lights first went off I was making dinner.  I had a pizza in the toaster oven for my daughter and I was preparing my tacos; homemade bean dip, cut up broiled chicken, cheese, chopped organic tomatoes and sour cream.  My head was in the fridge.  Then all of a sudden the power went.

We got a real shock.  The fear gripped us.  I felt really powerless, that sinking feeling, like Oh NO!  It wasn’t only that the power went out; it felt like our light was taken away.  We were in complete darkness.  I am sure this made our pupils open.  I felt the void and so did my daughter.  The message came loud and strong: The power of light is not to be taken for granted.  

I spoke to my daughter about gratitude for the lights.  I spoke about the dinner not being made, because of the power outage.  I said we may have to go out to eat.  Everything I said seemed to scare my daughter more.  She was in a slight panic and fear had really gripped her.  I said to imagine the homeless people who didn’t have power or lights and were cold and in the dark.  This was all before I went to light the candles.  

When I lit the candles, I could feel her breath.  It really comforted her when the candle was lit.  then every candle I lit made her more at ease, even though she was still scared.  That’s when she ran for the flashlight.  To have light and the power to make light made her feel more OK than before.  To wield the light and have that flashlight made her feel not so out of control.

I knew something had happened that would be remedied, but I didn’t know when or what was the problem.  I had already checked the breakers and usually that fixes things.  I knew I had on 2 small space heaters in the back rooms [it has been freezing here], the new electric water jug and I had just put the pizza in the toaster oven.  The new electric water jug seemed to be taking quite a lot of power, but the breakers were not tripped.  

I called the neighbor, who is an 84 year old woman.  She said she was in her curlers. I was outside on my cell.  Just then, the PG&E truck pulled up and made a U turn to swoop park in front of the driveway.  I walked back, after waving the flashlight at the truck, to see the neighbor who was walking out of her house in her curlers to give us some emotional support.  She snuck me $5 for bringing in her newspapers [I help her with this] and some chocolates she didn’t want. [She is a very sweet old smoker]

The PG&E Tech went to the meters on the outside of the house and while we were in the garage looking at the breakers again, the lights came on!  He fixed it!  I went outside and saw that he had opened another little door inside the meter box where there were more breakers that I did not even know existed!  Those were the ones that had tripped.  He said they were down and he just reset them.  He also said sometimes they need to be reset because they can be half way down and can just go off by themselves.   

So, I learned a lot of things tonight, and so did my daughter.  

We learned that we must not take what we have for granted.  We learned true gratitude on a feeling fear based primal level.  We learned true compassion for the homeless.  We learned we can read by candle light if the power goes out [the internet, the TV and the kitchen were not usable].  We learned we have candles.  We learned that we didn’t die if the lights were out.  We learned to call for help.  We learned to call for friendship and in turn we would receive presents by being present and maintaining our presence.  We learned that even if everyone else has their lights on, ours can go out.  We learned autonomy, proactive reasoning and that we were not alone.  We learned community and interconnectedness.  We learned that not everyone is there for us when we need them [I called my mom, but she was at a party], but the ones who are there are the ones we need at the time. We learned that fear made us think of what to do next.  We learned that breathing when afraid lessened the grip of fear.  We learned that the dark is not so scary, but feeling powerless is.  We learned that surrendering doesn’t bring help; it brings right thinking, so we can ask for help.

I remembered the feeling of powerlessness.  I remembered what it feels like to feel alone and in the dark.  I remembered that I can light a candle and ask for help.  I remembered that I can receive help.  I remembered that help is always on the way. I remembered that help comes to those in need when they ask for it.  I remembered that reaching out really does pay off [in this case in money and chocolate].  And lastly but definitely not least, I remembered that I am not alone, that I have real love in my heart and that lessons felt are lessons remembered.  

Every candle that we lit, lit the room in its own way.  Everything I did and everywhere I moved, I had my little girl close by me.  

Someone really needs me.  I have real friends.  Help arrives. No problem is unsolvable. People really love me.  

I am really loved.  

I have things to learn.  It’s ok to receive help and it actually feels good to get it. 

Gratitude is a great healer.

~*~

NOTHING

A few days ago, my daughter and I were getting ready to go on a long awaited play-date with 2 of our favorite people.  I have seen my daughter try to create drama or sabotage prior to an exciting event before.  I always wonder if it’s her fear that does this or a deflective tendency to take focus and thus energy off of the targeted area.

This time, she chose to subtly attack me with some words that really struck a very old chord with me on a deep soul level.  It had taken me a few days to assimilate what happened that moment and I think I have uncovered the iceberg beneath.

In a frantic moment when we were rushing to get to the car to go to the jumpy house place [she is 6yrs old], she said to me:

“You are nothing.”

Yes.  It was completely out of left field and instantly I reacted with a “What!?”, and a “What are you saying?” and a “Why did you say that?!”  It completely boggled me and sent me into a spin of regressing to my teenage years where I was rooted in low self-esteem and insecurity. 

I could not, at that moment, fathom where this came from.  I must say here that my daughter is very astute for a 6yo and she is also a crystal child which makes her sensitive and psychic.  She can read my thoughts and I have to watch what I think around her.

I wracked my brain to what could have triggered this ~ was I too pushy when I asked her to put on her socks?  NO. Did I do something to make her say this to me? NO.

I wanted to take responsibility for this.  I wanted to see what could have provoked it.  I asked her and she said she didn’t know.  She said she just said it and didn’t know why.

Then we had the angel/devil conversation where we discussed [I discussed, she listened] about how we all have an angel and a devil on our shoulder and that we need to listen to the angel and not the devil.  I asked her if the devil told her to say that to me.  She said she didn’t know.  Duality preaching wasn’t going to work with this crystal kid!

The next rabbit I pulled out of my hat was righteous indignation which to a 6 year old sounds like “blah blah blah blah blah!”

Then I saw myself and shut up.  I sensed it was not about her or what she said but rather what this statement brought up IN ME.

All my life I have lived to prove I am someone; somebody ~ seeking approval was a main goal of mine until very recently.  Maybe this was the capstone on the journey ~ the last test to see if I had accomplished my goal.

I must interject here and say that a few years ago I had a very amazing experience at the close of a yoga class while we were in shivasana; which is the relaxation pose to end the class.  I felt as though I was nothing.  It was not a bad feeling, in fact it was blissful.  I felt like I was in the room, but not of the room or anything around me.  I felt like I had disappeared but I was ‘there’, like I had transcended and made it to somewhere special.   I felt like I was nothing and it felt wonderful!

In saying this, I have come to the decision today that she was actually giving me a gift.  She was reminding me that I was and am nothing and that in the same way I am actually everything.  When I got mad at her after she said it, this is what I said in reply.  I said “I am not nothing! I am EVERYTHING!” then I went on to say all the things I do, yadda yadda, make the play-dates,  clean the house, help with homework etc etc. 

What I was missing was this truth.  I am nothing and I am everything.  I AM.  I know this and I am working to integrate this into my life now.

It didn’t matter what she said ~ it was my reaction and my realization from her words, her energy that made me either see it as an insult or a reflection.  I was spinning and I was running on empty.  I was nothing at the time she said it.  I had no love in me around what I was doing so I was nothing.  I was rushing.  I was not mindful of my actions, my words or my deeds.  I was running on automatic.  I was not present but I was ever present.  I had projected myself to the jumpy house place and I was worrying about being late.  I had lost my self and she noticed and reflected it to me.

 

Today I am learning that it is not important to get somewhere if you’re not there to begin with.

It was very interesting to me that my perception changed the whole experience.  Her words were not charged, in fact they were very bland.  She is pure and was coming from purity.

It was beautiful. 

Now, if only I can see this when it happens next time.  I think I will.

I did ask her if she was afraid about the play-date and she said “Yes.” I asked why and she said that she was afraid that her friend wouldn’t want to play with her.  I surmised that she said this to defuse the worry in her mind.  I expressed to her that I understood this and that everyone worries about how things will go when they are going to meet people… but little did she know, that what she said to me was a true gift.

Thank you for reading ~*~

Namaste

Janzee