Betrayal

Many of us have experienced this monster.  It insidiously creeps in and rips holes in your soul.  It destroys families and children of betrayal are never the same.  It erodes trust to where it is near impossible to put the pieces back together.

The feeling of being betrayed is up there with heartbreak and challenges us with festering resentment which can kill us.  Resentment is like cancer, it becomes a disease of the soul which is very hard to heal.  It may take a lifetime to recover from this kind of experience.

When we talk about betrayal we have to talk about TRUST.  Trust has to do with honesty and betrayal is its opposite. Betrayal’s foundation is set on lies, deceit and narcissism, which is so often present in the core of betrayal.

We live in a world where many people are so stuck in their patterns they can’t see out of their own reality long enough to see that the pattern even exists.  To get even a semblance of perspective feels unsafe and untrustworthy, because we all have become slaves to patterns.  It feels like home to us even if it is unhealthy or dangerous.  We become trapped.

There is a way out of the box.

It has to do with perspective and gaining footing.  In gaining perspective, we can begin to have a new vision, a way of seeing our patterns.  In gaining this, we can walk away from the box and create a new and positive story for ourselves and our world.

We have to begin to understand that we as a society have created these patterns. And as a whole we need to become responsible [response-able] to see the macro levels, which we then can make changes in own personal micro levels.  This inner work can be very challenging.  A guide is often suggested in this work; a healer, shaman or a good friend who knows us well.  Good mothers are invaluable.

When we deal with betrayal on the individual level we have to look at the group level as well.  We are betrayed by our governments, our leaders and who we deem as superiors or leaders.  Authority figures have a lot of responsibility and they are human.  In understanding this we can begin to have compassion for the fact that we and the people in our lives who betray us on a personal level are human too.

This does not excuse the betrayal but it is a starting point from where we can begin to heal our response to the betrayal. 

The lesson is this:  Challenges arise so we can learn how to deal with the energy of them, work with that energy and then move through that energy with as much grace and love as we can. 

Sometimes the experience is emotionally unfettered and sometimes it is emotionally gruesome; more likely the latter for the recipient.

It depends on who one is in the dynamic.  It is important to realize that while the betrayal victim suffers most; it is also crucial to realize that the offenders suffer too, albeit a different form of suffering.   Guilt, shame and self-loathing are often byproducts of the perpetrators karmic lesson.

Many times there are great losses or fallout that come much later from a deep betrayal; ones that cannot be foreseen or foretold.  Heart level issues come up and unless deep introspection occurs, the wounds are carried throughout lifetimes.  Karma is very real.  Children are affected as this energy sets up patterns in lineage.  Even unborn children are affected unless the pattern is healed.  There is great responsibility in the healing of these wounds on all levels.

Forgiveness is a piece, but so is acceptance.  Acceptance is for the wounded party as it releases them from carrying the burden of the wound with which they were afflicted.  To release this is a gift they give themselves. Only their soul can come to this realization.  Hopefully they can move into a space of deep release.

In healing from betrayal, forgiveness is part of healing the negative patterning. I acknowledge this idea when looking at the energy of attraction.  No-one goes through a betrayal without having the set-up energy present in the dynamic.  I am not saying the recipient ‘asks for it’ but instead I am saying that there must be an inherent pattern, either passed through generations or karma.  The seed has to be there for the lesson to be received so that the soul may work through this energetic dynamic.

So, betrayal… however painful and destructive it is… has a gift with it.  Catharsis, freedom and change are birthed from betrayal.  Usually both sides go through some rebirth, but oftentimes it is the person who was betrayed that receives the most gifts of soul level growth.  If they are receptive enough to appreciate the gifts and strong enough to see the healing through without using escape tactics like rebound relationships, drugs or alcohol. Many people delve into work to avoid thinking or dealing with the root of their pain.

Many times the only way people rebirth is through great catastrophe or breakdown, so it makes sense that the gift of betrayal does the same thing.

To die to the old self is always painful; all rebirth is. As we learn and grow through catharsis, sometimes many times in one lifetime, we incorporate the lessons we came to learn.

~*~

Namaste

Janzee