Many of us
have experienced this monster. It insidiously
creeps in and rips holes in your soul.
It destroys families and children of betrayal are never the same. It erodes trust to where it is near
impossible to put the pieces back together.
The feeling
of being betrayed is up there with heartbreak and challenges us with festering
resentment which can kill us. Resentment
is like cancer, it becomes a disease of the soul which is very hard to heal. It may take a lifetime to recover from this
kind of experience.
When we talk
about betrayal we have to talk about TRUST.
Trust has to do with honesty and betrayal is its opposite. Betrayal’s
foundation is set on lies, deceit and narcissism, which is so often present in
the core of betrayal.
We live in a
world where many people are so stuck in their patterns they can’t see out of
their own reality long enough to see that the pattern even exists. To get even a semblance of perspective feels
unsafe and untrustworthy, because we all have become slaves to patterns. It feels like home to us even if it is
unhealthy or dangerous. We become
trapped.
There is a
way out of the box.
It has to do
with perspective and gaining footing. In
gaining perspective, we can begin to have a new vision, a way of seeing our
patterns. In gaining this, we can walk
away from the box and create a new and positive story for ourselves and our
world.
We have to
begin to understand that we as a society have created these patterns. And as a
whole we need to become responsible [response-able] to see the macro levels, which
we then can make changes in own personal micro levels. This inner work can be very challenging. A guide is often suggested in this work; a
healer, shaman or a good friend who knows us well. Good mothers are invaluable.
When we deal
with betrayal on the individual level we have to look at the group level as
well. We are betrayed by our
governments, our leaders and who we deem as superiors or leaders. Authority figures have a lot of
responsibility and they are human. In
understanding this we can begin to have compassion for the fact that we and the
people in our lives who betray us on a personal level are human too.
This does
not excuse the betrayal but it is a starting point from where we can begin to
heal our response to the betrayal.
The lesson
is this: Challenges arise so we can
learn how to deal with the energy of them, work with that energy and then move
through that energy with as much grace and love as we can.
Sometimes
the experience is emotionally unfettered and sometimes it is emotionally gruesome;
more likely the latter for the recipient.
It depends
on who one is in the dynamic. It is
important to realize that while the betrayal victim suffers most; it is
also crucial to realize that the offenders suffer too, albeit a different form
of suffering. Guilt, shame and self-loathing
are often byproducts of the perpetrators karmic lesson.
Many times
there are great losses or fallout that come much later from a deep betrayal;
ones that cannot be foreseen or foretold.
Heart level issues come up and unless deep introspection occurs, the
wounds are carried throughout lifetimes.
Karma is very real. Children are
affected as this energy sets up patterns in lineage. Even unborn children are affected unless the
pattern is healed. There is great responsibility
in the healing of these wounds on all levels.
Forgiveness
is a piece, but so is acceptance.
Acceptance is for the wounded party as it releases them from carrying
the burden of the wound with which they were afflicted. To release this is a gift they give themselves.
Only their soul can come to this realization. Hopefully they can move into a space of deep
release.
In healing
from betrayal, forgiveness is part of healing the negative patterning. I acknowledge
this idea when looking at the energy of attraction. No-one goes through a betrayal without having
the set-up energy present in the dynamic.
I am not saying the recipient ‘asks for it’ but instead I am saying that
there must be an inherent pattern, either passed through generations or
karma. The seed has to be there for
the lesson to be received so that the soul may work through this energetic
dynamic.
So, betrayal…
however painful and destructive it is… has a gift with it. Catharsis, freedom and change are birthed
from betrayal. Usually both sides go
through some rebirth, but oftentimes it is the person who was betrayed that
receives the most gifts of soul level growth.
If they are receptive enough to appreciate the gifts and strong enough
to see the healing through without using escape tactics like rebound
relationships, drugs or alcohol. Many people delve into work to avoid thinking or
dealing with the root of their pain.
Many times
the only way people rebirth is through great catastrophe or breakdown, so it
makes sense that the gift of betrayal does the same thing.
To die to the
old self is always painful; all rebirth is. As we learn and grow through
catharsis, sometimes many times in one lifetime, we incorporate the lessons we
came to learn.
~*~
Namaste
Janzee
