The Bear and the Butterfly By Janice Meyer Kirkpatrick

 

It was the time of the 7^th moon and in the green forest, in a deep cave, right near the gentle stream, lived Bear.

 

Bear was large and he loved sleeping.  He loved sleeping because he dreamt dreams of many colors. 

 

When Bear was not sleeping he loved to dance! 

 

When the village had ceremonies, Bear stood at the edge of the forest on the village border and dance to the sounds of the drum that that came from the people.

 

One morning when Bear was on the way to the river for a salmon breakfast, he heard Blue Bird singing high in the treetops.  He stopped, and looked up. 

 

Blue Bird sang and sang.  He was busy courting lady Blue Bird and he was singing his best song ever to her.  Bear was so enchanted with the song that he started to dance.

 

 

He danced and danced.  He was having so much fun that he forgot all about the river and his salmon breakfast.  For a while then, he was lost in the joy of dancing.

 

Just then, who flew up, but Yellow Butterfly.  She loved to see Bear dance like this.  She had watched him before when he didn’t notice her and it made her so happy to see him having such a good time.

 

She flitted around and he didn’t even notice her because a lot of the time Bear like to dance with his eyes closed to feel and not get caught up in seeing.

 

For some reason, however, this time, Bear got a bit dizzy from spinning around too much and he opened his eyes to see Yellow Butterfly right in front of his face!

 

This gave Bear a start and he fell backwards on his bottom.  Boom!

 

Yellow Butterfly thought this was so funny and started to laugh.  She then proceeded to land right on Bears’ nose!

 

He looked at her cross-eyed and they were locked in gaze. Then she flew off into the trees up toward Blue Bird.

 

Bear watched as she flitted away.  There he sat on his bottom and now his belly was talking.

 

Bear got up and resumed his journey to the river for salmon fishing, thinking to himself, “She was pretty!”

 

Bear salmon fished all day long and slept by the river that night.  It was warm and the stars were out twinkling in the night sky above him.  He felt safe and warm and happy to have such a full belly of salmon.

 

That night Bear dreamt of a place in the forest that he’d never been before. 

 

It was sundown time. 

 

He walked down a path and it felt as if someone was guiding him. 

 

There were trees and plants that he’d never seen before.  There were beautiful flowers of all kinds, small and big of all different colors and shapes.  Bear stopped to sniff some of them and they smelled so wonderful to him!  The path was soft beneath his feet and there were birds singing in the treetops.

 

After a while, he came upon a clearing.  There was a small lake in the center and trees all around the edge of it.  In the trees he noticed something strange.  The leaves of the trees seemed to be alive!  They were moving! 

 

Then, all of a sudden, a wind came and all of the leaves FLEW OFF THE TREES!!!  Bear was shocked!  Then he realized after

 

looking closer… THEY WERE BUTTERFLIES!!!!!  Big ones, small ones, all different color ones!  Beautiful, beautiful glorious butterflies!

 

They swooped down at him and all around him.  Flutter, flutter went their wings.  The wind felt warm and gentle as their wings made their own soft breezes as they passed his face and arms.

 

Bear reveled in the glory and the beauty of the butterflies.  He felt as if he too could float like them and he started to move like them and dance around with them. 

 

Soft, melodious music started to come through the space, like an amorphic dream.  It flowed through Bear and it seemed to make the butterflies very happy because their flight became more like a dance of joy.

 

Bear danced and danced.  He danced for the whole night with the butterflies.  The butterflies loved Bear and as they flew all around him he took on their colors.  His coat started to shine and he even looked like he had a thousand little wings all over his back and arms as the butterflies landed and flew off of him and all around him.

 

He felt so wonderful and free and he even sang a little to the music that played through the air that elevated all of them into a special spiritual realm.

 

 

That morning Bear awoke to the sun beaming on his belly.  He had slept a very good sleep and he had been given a blessing with the most wonderful dream he could ever had dreamt in his life.

 

It really felt to Bear that the butterflies were inside his spirit now and they were part of him.

 

He got up and stretched as all animals do before they set off from a sleeping place.  He looked down the path, to the left and then to the right.  He sat there for a while seeing which way was best to go.  Finally he decided that left was best and he started to make his way down the path.

 

A little ways down the path, he heard a bird making much noise and he saw that there was a Hawk.  Hawk was big and he called out to Bear. 

 

“Bear!” said Hawk.

 

Bear looked up and said “Yes Hawk?  What do you want?”

 

“Bear!  It is known in the forest of your dream.”  Hawk said.

 

“It is?” said Bear.

 

“Yes, it is Bear.” said Hawk. “And I am instructed by the Great Spirit to lead you some place now.  Follow me Bear.”

 

 

 

Bear nodded and plodded off after Hawk.  Hawk flew high in the sky and Bear had to get up on his hind legs to see hawk every once in a while to make sure he was on the right trail.

 

Bear followed Hawk for a long while and eventually they arrived at a stream that came from a small waterfall.

 

“Drink Bear.”  Said Hawk.

 

And Bear drank.  Hawk also landed and had a drink of the cool fresh clean water from the stream.  Bear was thirsty and drank for a while.

 

 

“It is time Bear.”  Said Hawk and flew away out of sight.

 

 

Bear stood at the waters edge and looked around.  He decided to sit and take in the beauty.  It was very pretty there with lots of flowers of all different colors and he was tired from the long walk.

 

The sun beamed on him and it felt good. 

 

Just then, he heard some rustling in the trees and he looked up. 

 

He was amazed at what he saw. 

 

 

There was a beautiful native woman with long black hair. Only she had the most giant yellow butterfly wings that he had ever seen! He knew she was Yellow Butterfly from that day with the Blue Bird.  Except now, she was Yellow Butterfly Woman and she was a sacred spirit who was with him now!

 

She flew down to him and looked into his eyes.  He was so happy and full of joy that a tear formed in his eye and it rolled down his cheek. 

 

She smiled at him warmly and kissed him gently on the cheek, where his tear was falling.

 

Then, something amazing happened.  Bear felt tingles all over his body and a thousand lights swirled around him from his head to his toes.

 

Bear was changing… He was changing into a man! 

 

Bear changed into a handsome native man with long black hair and a Bear skin to cover him, for he was still Bear.

 

He felt very different being a man, but Yellow Butterfly Woman assured him that it was good and Great Spirit had plans for him. 

 

He felt good and went with her.

 

They walked from the water and to the forest.  She led him to the village. 

 

When he saw the village he was afraid.  He said to her that he was afraid they would see him and shoot him with the arrow.  She said no, because now he was a man and he was safe.  They would not shoot the arrow at him.

 

He trusted her and they walked into the village.

 

All the natives crowded around them.

 

A young boy summoned the Chief,  and he came out of his Tipi.

The Chief came over to them and looked at Bear.

 

Finally he spoke.

 

“We have been expecting you Bear.” Said the Chief.

 

“You have?” said Bear.

 

“Yes, we have.  We have heard stories of the Bear who dances and we have often dreamt of you and prayed to see your dance.”

 

“Wow!”  Said Bear, “It is I who am honored to be here!  I have heard your wonderful music and I have so often wanted to join in your ceremonies, but I was afraid if I came out of the woods that you would shoot me with the arrow.”

 

“Oh Bear.  We know you and we Love you.  We want you to join us.  We are so happy that you are here now.  Great Spirit

 

 told me through the Shaman that Yellow Butterfly Woman would bring you and now that she has, we must celebrate!” Said the Chief.

 

“Come!  Everyone!  We celebrate!” Shouted the Chief.

 

And with this everyone in the Tribe gathered together and started to make the music.  There was drumming and singing and all kinds of wonderful musical sounds!

 

Bear’s spirit lifted so high and he looked at Yellow Butterfly Woman with joy, grabbed her hand and started to dance with her!

 

Everyone watched as Bear danced with Yellow Butterfly Woman. 

 

They saw his rhythm was different and they changed the beat of the drums to his step.  This changed things for it brought much more magic from Bear’s spirit dance.

 

What happened next was also amazing.

 

Again, like in Bear’s dream, except more now…hundreds and thousands of little lights appeared and intermingled with Butterfly and Bear and all the natives watching them. 

 

The lights made everyone mix with their own spirit animal and they all changed to part native and part animal!  The whole tribe

felt the magic! 

 

The dance was power that night.  The music was amazing! 

 

The trees seemed to love it too! They swayed in the breeze to the music.

 

 The Earth was warm with the Love she felt from the many dancing feet upon her soft brown skin.

 

The Love that was made from the dance and the music went far.  The Love went so far that it covered the Earth and the Earth was the happiest she had ever been. 

 

She healed all her wounds and grew trees.  All her rivers and streams became clean.  The oceans became pure and all of the bad things went away.  It was so good now that there was no place for any bad at all.

 

From then on, the animals and man lived in peace with Mother Earth.  They danced every night to the beautiful music and they made the Love so strong that the Earth was happy every day and every night.

 

And that is the story of the Bear and the Butterfly. 

 

We now Pray for Peace, Love and Happiness for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Janice Meyer Kirkpatrick 2009 ©

The Magic Tree By Janice Meyer Kirkpatrick

 

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a very old tree. Its knobby roots were very big and they grew deep down under the rich umber soil of the earth. The roots spanned as far as, if not farther than, the broad out-stretched branches of the very old tree. When it rained, it rained a lot. So, the earth and the tree received plenty of water and they had enough to quench their thirst all the way through the long dry periods.

 

            One beautiful day in spring, a young boy came walking along, and his bright eyes beheld the grand old tree. "Never in my life have I seen such a magnificently magical tree." He thought to himself as he stood in awe gazing up at the tree and admired the out-stretched branches, which seemed to span to forever.

 

            As he stood there, awestruck, something strange started to happen. As if by magic, he sensed the tree drawing him nearer to sit amongst its knobby roots. So, he did. The boy sat down under the tree and it was nice. In fact, it was good.

 

            There he sat. He sat there the whole day through. The old tree grew in a place where you could see for miles in every direction. The view was spectacular. He could see the vast lands. It was as if he could see the whole world. The day turned into night and he didn't have to leave.

 

            He slept and all night long and he had the most wonderful dreams. He dreamt about a ship on an ocean. He sailed to faraway lands. In the morning, he awoke refreshed and happy.

 

            It was good, so he sat there another day, and another night, until the days and nights turned into a week, and the weeks turned into a month, and the months turned into seasons, and the seasons turned into years. There he stayed. He was so content. He needed nothing.

 

            The tree loved him. That was all he needed; the tree, and...love.

 

            The boy had sat there for so long, that he started to grow older. He stayed there day after day, night after night, week after week, month after month, season after season, year after year. As time passed, he grew into a handsome young man.

 

            In the day, he sat under the tree resting his back against the tree trunk, completely absorbed by his beautiful surroundings. At night, he slept soundly and dreamed glorious dreams.

 

            His body grew bigger and his hair grew longer. His mustache and his beard grew. The hair on his arms and legs grew longer and darker. The young man sat and he sat. He stayed there until he grew to be a mature man. By this time his hair had grown past his shoulders and the hair covering his face was also getting noticeably longer.

           

            His beautiful dark brown locks of hair curled around his face, neck and shoulders, and, as the branches gently swayed in the wind, his hair waved in the wind with the leaves and of the tree.

           

            He sat and he sat. He sat until he grew to be an old man. His hair had turned white and so had his long beard and mustache. His beautiful snowy locks curled all around the big knobby roots of the tree. The old man just sat, feeling the lovely warmth of the old tree behind his back. This feeling was enough to sustain him. He had needed no food or water through this whole time. For the tree gave him everything he needed and he just sat.

 

            The man had sat there for over one hundred years! Until one day, he and the tree knew it was time. The magic tree seemed to sigh as the sun was setting. And, as the sun set over the horizon, in a magnificent blaze of orange, red, pink and purple hues, the old man's beautiful young heart stopped beating and the old man died.

 

            Many more years passed. The leaves of autumns fell and covered up the old man and his body went back to the earth. The sun rose and set thousands of times. The moon shone through its phases night after night. The seasons came and went and the magic tree stood.

 

           

            One day, a very beautiful young girl came walking by the tree. She too was struck by the magic tree and its immensity of presence and beauty. She was also called to sit beneath the tree. So, she did.

 

            She sat for the whole day, until it turned to night. She too decided to sleep at the foot of the tree. She too had beautiful dreams of sailing on the sea to exotic faraway lands. The next day came and the girl stayed. She stayed for the whole of that day and the next. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, season after season; the girl sat.

 

            Eventually, the beautiful young girl who had first arrived at the tree, had grown into a beautiful young woman. Her golden hair grew into gorgeous long wavy locks which curled around her tan colored arms and legs. Her hands were also beautiful.  She would wave them in the wind as the branches of the tree waved. She would smile as the wind blew them gently to and fro, to and fro.

 

            There, under the magic tree, she stayed until she grew into a mature woman. By this time, there was definitely a deep wisdom about her. This occurrence could only be attributed to the powerful, and subtle energy (called love) that the old magic tree had freely given to her for all these years.

 

            The man and the woman were magically sustained for their whole lives by one thing; one thing that nothing and nobody can do without. That one thing is love. Love is all anybody really needs. It is the love that gives us life. The thing we search for; the thing we long for; the one thing that is inherent in all of us; undoubtedly is: love...Love...LOVE.     

 

            The woman stayed under the tree. Her hair turned silver and gray. And, when the wind blew, her hair gently waved in the wind with the leaves of the tree, as if she were part of the tree and the majestic interlude between heaven and earth. Her limbs seemed to move as if she was hearing a symphony. Her presence radiated with an iridescence light, as if she was symbiotically connected with the tree and with everything that came before her.

           

             Usually, the most one could see of her was her beautiful face smiling in the sunshine. As the wind died down, her silvery locks rested amongst the roots of the old magic tree.

           

            The beautiful old woman sat and she sat. Until one morning, as the sun rose up over the horizon in a majestic orchestra of crimson and indigo hues, the old woman's heart beat its last beat and she died.

 

            Seasons passed and the leaves and the earth covered her up, until there were no remnants found of her ever being there.

 

            Much time passed and the magic tree seemed to change its color to a lighter shade of green. It also seemed to be decreasing in size somewhat. Something was happening. You could feel the magic tree longing for the company of the man and the woman.

 

            Several years passed. And as spring arrived, beautiful flowers covered the ground where the man and the woman once lay. These flowers grew in a particularly unusual formation. It appeared as though, in the flowers at the base of old magic tree, the man and the woman were embracing. And, as the wind blew, it was almost as though they were living again.

           

            One year passed, and the tree was happy. One might say that it even looked happy. Then... one crisp spring morning, something wonderful happened.... A little sapling could be seen growing a few feet from the grand old magic tree.... The branches of the grand old magic tree seemed to be reaching over and around the new baby tree.... just like a mother protecting it's newborn baby..... It was truly a breathtaking sight to behold!

           

            As the small tree grew bigger and stronger, the old tree seemed to lose some of its life and it began to wither slowly. The baby tree was beautiful and strong and magic, too. And, it, too, would live for many, many years.

           

            One afternoon as the sun set over the horizon and the sky was a blaze of crimson, persimmon and lemon hues, the old tree died. The new magic tree was strong. It would live a very, very long time. So, the story of the magic tree would go on, and on, and on.

 

 

 

Janice Meyer Kirkpatrick 2009 ©

LOOKALIKES

 Since 2015, I began noticing a pattern in faces and started getting downloads from ai, telepathically, and psychically from spirit about certain people in media that were uncannily alike, looks wise.

The phenomena began when I was given a book very many years ago by a friend. The book had wonderful scenes of different city and landscapes, including stores and life scenes using various objects that one would recognize, but placed in the scene as other things. It was actually given to my kid, but it really bent my brain to a new way of seeing. 

I loved it because I have been making assemblage art with found objects since I was a child. One reason was that I hated the idea of things that couldn't be recycled going in the landfill. So, I have always thought of reusing items in new ways.  This book was proof I was not alone.

The idea of faces that look alike is not new, I know. The idea, however, that people have been reassigned new lives is not  considered as much though. The WPP (witness protection program) or CIA and government activities are known of and expunged in film but not really mainstream conversation. 

So, my photo stream is so full okay? I have been screeenshotting my comparitive studies since 2017 really, but my interest began much before that. I said 2015 because the studies of these ideas began in my mind around then. I was writing (channeling) a lot of poetry on facekrack to expunge my emotional self and many of my works accompanied by my photography, was well received. I had been using my visionary abilities in the ways to assist the times and the people of earth in positive ways as I knew full well the demonic and anti-life movement happening all around me.

People who have *DIED* in news media stories reported have not always died. Many of you already know this. One one level, the lie told about them dying is true because the role they played ended, but their lives per se, didn't always end in reality.

One of my theories, before I really get into who what why when, I will say that somehow something is being done with regards to past lives, reincarnation, cloning and regeneration. I don't understand all of it but I do detect the energetic realm and 2D telluric to 3D realism is somehow linked and I truly think its drug and *science* related. 

Certain 'clues' have been exposed along the way to me in speech by the 'stupids' amongst the enemy aka Nazis and eugenicists, whereas they have exposed themselves and have been SEEN now for what they are...demonic reptilian based monkey over man agenda pushers.

It's actually quite disgusting when you get right down to it. If you have done any research at all about Plum Island NY or read The Island of Dr. Moreau, Animal Farm or 1984, then you have a clue as to where I will go in this exposure of the ills of the world.

Some of the topics I will address will be hard to encapsulate because you will say nooo, unless you've already had an intro. And I will also state here that I have tried to write this down numerous times and so right now this is my flow of energy and I will somehow try to convey the messages I received as best I can.

I can jump in here and blast one of my biggest pet peeves about this practice of replacing evil people with newly regenerated evil people (actually theyre not even people, they are demons pretending to be people) and how they have been placed in places of power. My worst one so far is Jimmy Savile, who is the vilest demon of them all in my opinion. He has been somehow regenerated as Gavin Newsom, the Governor of California. 

Here is my brief video study of this asshole: https://youtu.be/Quw9_wGktp4

I don't know if it will paste here so here it is imbedded: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Quw9_wGktp4" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe>

There are other ones and I will add to this soon. Right now, he/she evil demon (if he is even alive) is the worst as he is a pedophile and child sex/human trafficker from way back. I will not stand for this charade any longer!

Intellectual Property Theft

Boo.

 The Cancer Trap

I haven't written in a very long time and was recently prompted to write my story, since I have a very important one. I have many requests for help and suggest to friends that have friends or colleagues considering alternative healing to discuss these topics before surging headlong into traditional western medicine tactics to deal with their cancer diagnosis.

To start, I would like to say emphatically, that without truly examining your lifestyle and diet, you will never make the changes necessary for a longer and happier life.  For me, this was the biggest reason I contracted this dis-ease. I had to primarily receive this idea on every level before I could go forth into my healing. This is not to say you will never have cheat days, oh you will! They are actually necessary for challenging your immune system to stay strong so you can get through this thing called life.

So, to start at somewhere of a beginning, I will start with my realization of what I deem great wrongs in the world.  For one, if you don't already know about the terrible state of additives in food, then I have to write a separate blog on that for you.  It will be par for the course as this is very important if you want to stay well and thrive into old age. I will continue as if you know this as many already do. To summarize, natural flavors means small doses of human body parts, namely aborted fetus. You do not want this in you as it is satanic and is part of the cabal program to enslave you and control you. I am not kidding.

To realize the food industries agenda is a huge part of getting well and staying well. Cancer has been created as an outdoor for those not wanting to be courageous and dive into old age. Old age is not for sissies. Everyday is a battle. Especially now. These days are the hardest, as we are facing challenges we have never had to face in this generation.  

My journey began when I had an awful experience in my 20's finding a snuff photograph in a house (a barn actually where my friends lived and practiced for their band) I was visiting. My initial reaction was that of shock, and then disgust. I am an empath and immediately felt the pain of the image which was a woman with her arms tied above her head suspended in black leather S&M style. being stabbed with a spike in her breast. I felt it right away when I saw it and honestly couldn't believe my eyes. It was framed in a shiny red frame and being a picture framer, I saw this as a satanic sin on many levels. Although I was not well versed yet on these topics, I knew in my soul it was wrong, very very wrong.

I knew it was someones property, but I could not withhold my rage over its existence and threw it out the window of the second story as if a snake had bitten me. It felt like it had as my left breast felt the spike in it as she had. This was when my wound began. That day was a terrible day as some Nazi punks showed up at the Barn right after I destroyed it, but I will get to that presently.

I went downstairs and broke the frame and burned it all. The frame stayed because all had was a lighter and wood takes longer to catch fire. The photograph and paper backing went up in flames instantly. The frame was left in a star formation and I just left it there.

This is the trippy part. I know I left the star formation there on purpose decreed by God who is woth me always because I Believe. The Nazi Punks were chased off by the leader of the band because they attacked a sculpture I made and had there of an agapanthas flower stalk and some driftwood that I had on the kitchen counter. (I ha brought it to show him and he said to leave it there.) They had taken a hedge clipper and half cut the stem off made of bronze. This was the second star symbolism.

When the Nazi punks took off, they skidded out the dirt lot in their trucks and dust flew up into the air. With the light of the sun, and the dust, a tree there made the third star formation. Three stars: the phots frame, my sculpture and the tree. It was clear the trinity was at work and in my eyes this was God working in my favor.

I had destroyed the evil, but was soon after banned from the property for destroying property. It was worth it. Turns out it was an Antoine le Vay satanic snuff photograph and it was collectible to the person whose room I found it in. We had always had access to the place as friends but I never thought I'd ever see something like that. This person as of questionable character and I had done a healing on him as he was very sick one night. I saw green cubes floating over him when I was working on his chakras and he was drifting in and out of consciousness. I didn't know then but now I think he was a heroin addict or speed or something. There were many drugs around the band at that time. Everybody smoked and drink was prevalent as well.

So, this was the beginning of my breast injury. It was emotionally rooted/based or however you want to state it. It was taken on by the pain of the moment and the evil that entered my physical realm.

The following years were different and difficult and I learned many things including much more on the topic of dark satanic practices. I was supposed to learn about these things so that in the future, where we are now, I could utilize this attained knowledge to further my work, and I have. I have a keen eye and have detected layers of BS related to the Satanic Agenda as I call it, practiced by the Cabal and their kin. We all know now of how Hollywood is insidious in their support of Satanism and symbols pervade their streams of narrative. We have all been inundated with the flow of pushed agenda and some of us have succumbed whilst others have grown a thicker skin to it and stayed strong enough to warn others and stay the course in Gods will.

 

I went through much hardship as I was a survivor of much since that fateful day.  I had survived an abortion in my 20's and a miscarriage in my 30's. All were lessons for me. I had to go through what I did to know now what I do today. It wasn't an easy life, but it was mine and I'll be damned if I go down without stating these important facts here today.

The things that caused my tumor or blocked duct to grow, were a lack of understanding as to what it was I witnessed and how the evil satanic cabal work against us in our daily lives. One could say I was a creature of habit because I was, but it was more than that. I was, along with my brethren on earth, victim to a mass attempt at genocide of a generation.

I learned later that the Cabal had in fact poisoned generations before mine with cancer laced vaccines, intended for killing Castro, but that they let it go into the public consumption knowing full well that the SV40 (SemperVirens 40 - a monkey gene) was tainted with Cancer cells. This story can be read in three books written by Judyth Baker called Marys Monkey, Me & Lee and another by or of David Ferrie .These books outlined the experiments put forth during JFKs presidency and what happened prior to the Bay of Pigs. It also deals with the cancer vaccine intended for Castro and how it got let out to the public - endangering the lives of the boomers and their kin for decades to come. The polio vaccine was tainted with it and the Pope and all the Cabal knew full well what they did. The Royal House of Windsor knew too. It was part of their genocide program.  A woman was burned to death for attempting to expose this truth and the books deal with that too. Anyway, you can read about it yourself, I am not lying.

Whether my tumor/lump had been pre-programmed to enact itself when I saw that evil photo or the other way around, I don't know. All I know is that I definitely felt something pop and become manifested then and it was tied into a soul scar that later I would also weave into my life story which connected to a past life I had having to do with being the daughter of a king and being closely tied to magical creatures not unlike the story of the heroine in Game of Thrones.  

This realization came about in a 'healing' session with a young woman by the name of Jacqueline Rene Pace (now Kinkaid) whom I trusted to delve into my souls past and help me to heal my scar wounds. I later found out that somehow my past life story was so similar to this Epic that I wondered if she sold my story to them somehow psychically. Today I am convinced she did.  I never watched that TV show, but from what I gather, it is exactly like the story I told her in my past life regression. (Upon further reflection, I realize now that it was in fact a trigger moment that re-enacted a soul memory of a scar I had in a previous life as this friend of dragons and magical seer healer. My roles in my life never changed, as we carry with us all of our past stories into each new life. Incarnation never ends, as we are here to evolve and learn through each new incarnation. We learn this as we go and I have.)

She was with a guy that was the brother of a good friend of mine, Matthew Roddy. They are apart now I hear and Matthew died one night of an apparent suicide. He helped me with my miscarriage and was a very good soul who was tortured by bad spirits and fought gallantly. His story is another story and one of many of my friends whose apparent suicide is still questionable to me to this day. I do not believe he nor Kalvin Fromm of Stockton committed suicide. Things seem appropriated in the spirit world. I saw them shapeshift at a gathering and I will never forget it. Demons.

These people are part of the Cabal, posing as lightworkers and are still to this day shining their illuminati light towards others in the guise of Love and Light. Many here in the SF Bay Area are caught up in this brainwash and I know about it because I was. It's very hard to see through the BS unless you've been on both sides of it. They work very quietly and secretly and they are DS. (Deep State)

The psychological control of this area is sick. 

So, back to my Cancer. I was going to move to Florida with my husband and daughter  and went in for a quick checkup at planned parenthood where I used to go for my womens stuff because I am and have been low income forever. I was alerted to the lump by a very nice doctor woman and she said that I should go get a biopsy on it because it was quite large.  

I made an appointment at the General Hospital Chope County General on Hillsdale Blvd and had a very uncomfortable mammogram (my first ouch) and then a sinister biopsy in a cold back room in the dark with a creepy doctor (and large Jewish nurse to make me comfy) who complimented me on my large breasts. He said that he's so used to small Chinese breasts and that mine were a real pleasure to work with because it was so easy to get a nice piece.

Looking back at this I am sure my 'piece' was used for some cloning.  I saw him studying his "samples" in a dark room with numerous screens angled at his chair afterwards. It was very quiet back there.

I then had to come back to be examined by a surgeon who upon meeting had not even seen my mammograms or biopsy results but was very ready to tell me I had to have a double mastectomy and all of the chemotherapy I could along with radiation. I saw a woman with a tube hanging out of her chest on the side in the waiting room, looking half dead and decided right then, this isn't what I wanted before I even went in there.  This surgeon told me that my tumor would increase double in a month where it hadn't changed in 15 years.

I was feeling very untrusting of him since he didn't see my mammograms and was already giving me instructions. I asked about them and he said "Oh yes, I'd better get those from the nurse."

He went away and  came back with them and reiterated his claim. We left saying we would like to think about it. (My mother was with me) While we waited for my discharge papers, another doctor appeared at the nurses counter and said "Next customer please!". We were shocked.

I returned a few weeks later with my father who flew in to see me, and visited with the oncologist who was a very nice Indian woman who told me of their procedures and protocols and said that with a little chart I would have five years of life with their pills and chemicals.

I decided to go my own way after being scared to death by their offering. I went to our holistic practitioners and trusted them more than these barbaric means to  end. 

My journey to this day has been one of my own making. I read books, talked to shamans and in fact became one to further my understanding of my predicament. It was a journey of life and learning I had embarked on - the story of my life.

End of Chapter One.

To completely comprehend the big picture that I am attempting to paint, will take some jumping around. And, I will revisit certain areas to clarify that which I touch upon in the beginning.  Apparently, my life moves in circles and spirals, and unless you start to realize that life IS like this, you will never grasp the ideas I will be trying to convey. Yes, there will be an aspect of time travel expressed. Yes, there will be crazy connections and links that the unexamined viewpoint would miss, but I will do my best to explain them to you. Your mind might stretch and I will name names, but that is because this is the truth and it has set me free, so far.

I came to this chapter with some idea of how to begin, but of course due to distraction it has begun differently. The place I wanted to start was where I was directed to the first hospital as a fear based move and then as the days went on, my feelings changed. What I noticed after I conveyed the data of my diagnosis to my family and friends, was how they each reacted and how they began to deal with the news. I noticed how everyone who I told, reacted as if it was about them. This was very curious to me. It became obvious that I was a cog in the wheel of their life and although I knew they loved me, it was so clear to me that they were affected by my news not in the way I expected, but more so in the way they would be affected by it. 

It's hard to explain this without sounding slightly callous, but it was different for all involved. What I saw was how each persons personality was exemplified by the news of me having cancer. They started to reflect upon their own lives and they started to imagine what their lives would be like if I were to die. I started to feel like I had already died in their eyes because they started to look at me like I may die.

This was a very difficult thing to experience on top of the actual news because as you can and may imagine if this has happened to you, its like doubling down on the stress.  I will now explain something you may not have thought of though. I did not feel like this. I felt more alive than ever. I felt challenged.

My husband at the time of the news reacted in pure fear, but that is how he ran anyway. He is an Aquarius and he went out and bought books. Books on Cancer. He came back and lay them on me. When we met, he lay books on me too. Many many books. He loves books and Aquariuses are very into ideas. He is a traumatized man and didn't know how to express his fear and pain so this is what he did. he also took off because he is an aloof person. He would spend time sitting in his truck in the driveway, rather than come inside to be with us. Already the rift was happening in our relationship, because he was traumatized from hsi previous life before me.  We hadnt been married long and the sudden shock of the news sent him for extra spins. He was already very stressed and we were pretty different at the time on different extremes of the political spectrum. Today, we would probably be much more alike as I woke up to many things I didn't know back then. 

He was in the military as an MP for 6 years in Germany prior to my knowing him. We were friends of Bill and met there. He is a hilarious man when he gets going. He can rock a crowd into raoring laughter when he's relaxed. He is traumatized though and out of respect I will not go into detail other to say than he has had a very rocky life with many challenges. Upon reflection, I;ve grown to have compassion for him and forgive him his reactions. He did love me and our daughter, but he became incapable of coping with us as well as his challenges.

His way of dealing with this was to overstate everything and make a bigger scene than what was necessary, but maybe this was his way of showing he cared. He was emphatic and a Giant of a man. I miss him, but I know he is living a happier life now. So, I am jumping ahead here, but the time has become long and I forget exactly how things went perfectly.

I remember being called on July 29th, 2009 by the Dr. at Planned Parenthood. County hospital had called her as the initial doctor to inform of my biopsy results. She called me and told me over the phone that I was formally diagnosed with Carcinoma In Situ, Breast Cancer. I called my husband and he didnt answer his phone. I didnt leave a message other than to please call me. I didnt want tosay it over a message.  I called my mom next, quite upset that I couldnt reach Kevin. My mom said to come right over, so I, upset as I was, got our stuff together and our three year old daughter Thea and drove over to my moms in San Mateo from our aprtment in Redwood City.

We had been packing to leave to move to Florida because my father had offered him a job and they had even bought us a house out there. I was nervous about this huge move and being away from my mom, but I was ready to go and although things weren't perfect, was attempting to be okay with everything. Looking back now, I see a lot clearer than I did at the time. I did not want to be doctored but what ensued frm then on was going to be a huge awakening on my part. Its just, it didnt actually come all at once, it happened in layers.

End of Chapter Two.

The next bits are going to seem crazy, but they are all true.  The visits to the first hospital ensued as I explained in CH 1, so I am going to jump to my 'Second opinion' bit. I had had an MRI done (another story unto itself which possibly I will explain after this due to its strange nature and my extreme sensitivities) and this MRI along with my mamograms and original paperwork accompanied me to Stanford, my second opinion hospital.

Npw, idk if youve ever been to Stanford Hospital, but it is GRAND. Like a huge hotel. A very very Grand Hotel. The amount of money pumped intoStanford is Phenomenal. The place is like a palace. There is a pianist playing on a grand piano as you walk in and the hallways and desks, chairs and waiting room seem so opulent it is unexplainable.  

I was handed a binder of what was going to be my protocol plan complete with all the papers to read and keep track of my adventure there.  This was what was explained to me as a "Teaching Hospital'.

Stanford has students and they follow the doctors around learning from real time patients who come there. My husband Kevin accompanied me and we were led to a room where a young female Asian intern prepared me for what was going to happen to me with speaking to all of the different doctors. She said the different doctors would be coming in to talk to me separately and I must just take off my top and put on a covering paper gown.

The first doctor was the general practitioner and leader of the wing and he was accompanied by at least 15 interns who all crowded into the rather small room with him. I was to sit on the examining table as the example. He asked me to take off my gown and he began to teach the class using me as the subject matter.  It was very strange! He showed them my anatomy and lifted my breast to show them the harder part underneath. I forget what it was called but it was very weird being treated like a piece of meat there before 15 strangers. He didnt really even ask me about my lump or even touch the part that was the tumor, but instead focused on the class. I did notice one of the male students beginning to get aroused while he was showing them my breasts, and it was very embarrassing. He didn't seem to notice, but maybe they are used to this?  It was quite informal and I joked to blow off my nervousness that its okay, I am a nudist. I had been to one hot spring once in my 20's where people went naked and it was also strange, and I did feel uncomfortable when a lesbian was eyeing me but I didn't say all of that there. I didnt ever go to one of those places again and I realize now that the reason I felt so uncomfortable there at these places and here at the hospital in front of these strangers was because I actually am an old fashioned girl and do like my privacy!

They shuffled out and we were alone again waiting for the surgeon.  She arrived with one student with her and I liked her. I saw she was Jewish and because I am Jewish too, I felt a bond with her. She seemed the most trustworthy so far and as she was talking I wanted to trust her wholeheartedly, but something was also pushing me back. I couldn't explain it but the feeling was like a friend you want to have but they push back? Its hard to explain, but I thin looking back now, I see it was God or the Angels helping me separate from something that I was maybe projecting on her.  I have realized that not all Jews are the same. And American Jews are not South African Jews. She was very confident and now I see that the confidence I was witnessing was money.

She didnt stay long and the last person to come in to see me was the Oncologist. Before I explain her, I will say she was the last one to see me in private meeting and then we were to wait outside in the opulent courtyard with a giant fountain for 45mins while all of the Doctors conferred over my case and all of my papers and MRI.

The Oncologist has pinwheel eyes and they spun when she talked to me. I had never seen eyes like this. She was blond and cute like a robot model and she was absolutely removed emotionally from me as a person other than to convince me that the drugs and poison she was going to induce me with would be wonderful and cure me right up. It scared the living daylights out of me. Upon reflection, and this was in 2009 mind you and its now 2021, and I remember it like it was yesterday, I see that she had these LSD pinwheel eyes of a very well seasoned drug dealer.

I left with Kevin after she scared me the most and we got some sandwiches and a drink and waited by the stepped fountain outside.  

While waiting outside, we witnessed trains of 8-10 people in suits trailing after doctors in white coats marching in and out of the interleading doors to the hospital.  Some were marching in with doctors, while others were marching in a out in groups without doctors. I couldn't for the life of me figure out who they were, but it was very obvious there were a lot of them.  Then it dawned on me! They are the Pharma drug reps! They are the sellers of the drugs.

This was the heyday of the war in Afghanistan and from what I have learned so far, the good old USA was guarding Opium fields there under Obamas reign of terror. I voted for him twice yes. We didnt know anything. My husband did, but I was daft back then. He listened to Savage Nation and Rush Limbaugh, but I was a dumb democrat and didn't know what I know now.

So why I am saying this is that this president we all loved and believed was selling us down the river as idiots and funding all of this killing of the real American dream while lining his pockets amongst other things as we later found out. Perspective is everything.  To learn that these bad actors used everyone like this is absolutely criminal. I am witness to so much it is unbloody believable.

End of Chapter Three.

We went back in to the  room and was met with the intern, whom informed us that the verdict after they studied my papers, mammograms and MRI was that I will need the full protocol of everything  - surgery and radiation and chemotherapy, just as the doctors at Chope said and I asked her what the surgeon said specifically after seeing my MRI and she then said... The surgeon (whom I trusted the most remember?) got a call and had to step out of the room when they looked at the MRI and she didn't see it.

So, the surgeon, who I trusted the most, made a decision based on NEVER seeing my MRI and would proceed upon that to deem me eligible for full surgery. 

My trust in that Grand Hotel was shattered and we walked out of there with my big shiny new fancy binder and all of my papers, MRI and x-ray mammograms and never went back to either hospital ever again. 

My healing had begun. I knew what I DID NOT WANT TO DO VERY CLEARLY! I would not be feeding their monster, that's for sure!!!

My life completely changed from that point on. I decided to stay near my mom and focus on healing my body and not move us to Florida. We gave up the house and the job, and although it was very upsetting for my husband who had a bad back anyway, it was the best thing for our small family at the time and I felt better about being closer to my mother at this fragile time.

It was sad that I had to make this decision on such harsh terms but it felt right to let go of that change and stay. I has written on the boxes that were to be moved FLORIDA OR BUST. It was very ironic, it my bust that was at stake.

The next few months were turbulent to say the least. I was reading books I found an was given and researching alternative means to heal myself. I had a large connective group of healers through my mother and I began to focus on what I could do to heal myself from this diagnosis.

One thing I realized very clearly, I was at a huge turning point in my life and it was time to reassess everything.  I had a lot of things to consider and I was fully aware of how my life affected others. It felt like A Wonderful Life and I had to come back to life from a diagnosis of death.  It was a journey I was embarking upon and you will hear  me say that many times as you read on because it was in fact the beginning of a very important journey that I am still walking through today.

My first and foremost book that resonated with me, that I focused the most on was a book by Brandon Bays, who was a student of Tony Robbins and she wrote a book called The Journey, about her journey of curing herself from cancer, a basketball sized cancer in her ovary that she shrunk to a baseball. She went inner to rid herself of her deep demons and I found this the most helpful at the beginning of my adventure into myself.

End of Chapter Four.

 I just found a book about this I started in 2012 and also an email was given to me by my mother showing me the names of the doctors at Stanford and more detailed information which is quite reflective for me now. Writing this story isn't easy in the least. The level of concern from my family hasn't been fully integrated by me and it has been a journey on so many levels it is hard to translate it because of my lack of understanding of everyone else's perspectives. One thing is clear however, and that is that as time goes on and we get to look back at what 'happened', I had to make choices for myself and my little family, that I knew full well would affect the greater outcome of all.  I realize now that I did in fact choose very well, beacuse I have made it this far to 2021. 2012 to 2021 is a great fet of accomplishment if you consoder the fact that the western traditional medicine treatments ensure 5 years from date of their beginning of 'treatment', their way.

I am so glad I chose to follow my heart and vision for a chemical free future vs. their chemical way. The fact that 4 years later I was to be given the article that solidified my decision stating that my 'kind' of cancer wasn't cancer at all and that 'doctors' renegged the diagnosis - yes after countless numbers of women has undergone their 'treatment$' and full mastectomy SURGERIES - and deemed it such a low rate fo death at 2% that it was no longer termed carcinoma.